keeping my sanity intact

Changes

2006-10-20T19:03:00.000-04:00

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again.

- Ephram, Character in EVERWOOD, 1st season

I Don't Wanna Be by Gavin Degraw

2006-10-04T22:13:00.000-04:00

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been tryin to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I've peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn
am I the only one to notice
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I've peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
if you're not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave

I came from the mountains
the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay to stone
and now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I've peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I've peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I DONT WANNA BE...
I DONT WANNA BE...
I DONT WANNA BE....
I DONT WANNA BE....

Every Time

2006-08-03T15:41:00.000-04:00

Everytime Video - Britney Spears lyrics

Britney Spears Music Video Codes

Music Video Codes by VideoCure.com

by Britney Spears

Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done?
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so smallI guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wingsI feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

2006-07-21T10:47:00.000-04:00

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.
You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

2006-07-21T10:45:00.000-04:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Toki Masachika

What's your Japanese Name?

2006-07-21T10:42:00.000-04:00

You Are 20% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Just a thought on the road

2006-07-20T21:49:00.000-04:00

When I got married, I was stripped off of nearly everything -- work, friends, family, pride, confidence, freedom, life. Nearly everything. Nobody yells at me then, not my mom or my dad even. Maybe my brother occasionally does during a petty sibling fight, but he won't get away with it. Not that I consider myself as dominant, but I wanted to be treated as equal, as a person, not just a woman in a feudal setup, to be treated with respect. I wasn't treated with mere uncomfortable silence, coz everyone knows am a listener. I may be a debater by nature, but am a person who have but a few words to say.

I was never treated with uncanny idiocy, I may be wrong sometimes, but my opinions are my opinions, I guess everyone is entitled to it, and opionions shouldn't be deemed wrong. One person can not and should not take away any man's or woman's opinion for that matter, to be wrong. I am not competing, I am just voicing what's on my mind. Nobody should be treated like they are ignorant, for in one way or another that person can know things that no body else knows of. Nobody should treat themselves as if they are the most intelligent person there is, for there are a lot of things in the world they might have not heard of, ever.

On Birthdays

2006-06-17T11:26:00.000-04:00

26 years. I never thought I'd live to be 26 years of age. Not that I have a life-sentencing disease. It's just that when I was younger, I thought 25 years is way too old.

Oh yeah, 26 years, my first birthday away from my family, away from home. Home where I grew up to be the independent, strong-willed woman that I am now. Home where things were learned, where I and my siblings were nurtured. Home where love abounds amidst every situation. I can't remember one birthday when my parents weren't there to greet me and celebrate with me. I can't remember one birthday when I didn't receive a card from my siblings. Usually it's my sister who always takes her time to buy the card and have everyone sign it. True enough, even if I am 8,000 miles away, I still received a card. A card that trully made me home sick. A card that brought here the love that has been with me all through 26 years.

As I look back now, I cannot remember one birthday when I asked for any gift. Infact, I never really wanted any at all. It's the feeling of being loved and secured that made me want nothing else. Oh and maybe, my parents raised us to be simple men and women, unmaterialistic and with the sense of completeness in our lives because of their unending love.

I really miss home. I wish I could be home for my birthday. And maybe, just maybe, if someone asked me what gift would I want for my birthday, I guess I will really have an answer, a first from me -- I would really love to receive a ticket, a ticket to HOME.

On Having a Life

2006-05-18T20:01:00.000-04:00

I used to have work back home. Not the one that pays much but pays enough to cover everything plus more.

I used to have friends who I see everyday at work. The ones who makes life at the office so much fun. People who makes my job easy by making me smile, or laugh even. No, laugh a lot.

I used to have barkadas who I see regulary on a quarterly basis, and sometimes when we just feel like it.

I used to have a family who I go home to everyday after work and who I hang with during non-working days.

I used to have a dad who lives with me everyday to give me strength, courage and wisdom as I go through lifes challenges.

I used to have a mom with me who wakes me up, prepares my breakfast, packs my lunch and says goodbye to me before I set off for work.

I used to have brothers who stood up and were strong for me when I feel weak.

I used to have a sister who shares everything with me and I to her.

I used to have a comfy bed with two body pillows that gets me to sleep.

I used to have a lot of little inexpensive things which makes me happy, which makes me...me.

I used to have a life.
Can I have it back?

On Happiness

2006-05-12T22:46:00.000-04:00

Happiness

To most it's just an illusion...

or a delusion.

To others, it’s nothing but a word sitting between happy and happily..

Or a feeling they have never experienced…

Or a dream they have hoped to have all their lives..

What really is happiness? How does it feel to be really happy?

I don’t know, I’m not the right person to ask.